Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Posted by Billy Bride


I’m talking about face cream. Since when did cosmetic companies start pumping out these way-out skincare concoctions with such bizarre constituents as “negatively charged platinum ions”?

My cynical instinct to rebel against this farcical yet burgeoning market for ludicrous luxury skincare makes me feel so… old fashioned. Am I truly that out of the loop?

I mean, I’m not wholly unaware of this movement (you would have had to have been living under a rock not to have heard the hype over La Prairie’s Pure Gold Cellular Radiance cream containing micro-emulsified 24K gold) and I do admire this as a revolution in skincare – but are these companies for real? Estee Lauder’s Re-Nutriv range promises “precious gems in every drop” – a micro fine mesh of rubies, sapphires and colloidal gold to ‘clarify’ your skin.

What? Do you mean to tell me that they have scoured the earth’s surface procuring these rare and matchless gems only to pulverise their beauty into powder form, transforming them into a disposable beauty cream to be applied to the face for half-a-day’s fleeting radiance? I mean, don’t these diamonds and pearls have something better to do – like feature upon a priceless necklace or tiara? Become a treasured heirloom for generations to come?

Even worse is the ambiguity abounding in their advertising spiel – Givenchy’s latest ultra-luxe venture Le Soin Noir touts itself as the world’s first ‘Black’ face cream (as if a lab engineered tweak of the colour spectrum makes it somehow extra-specially ground-breaking). Crème De La Mer have trademarked their shakily concepted ‘Miracle broth’, and even on their own website make no attempt to back up it’s unfeasibility, stating “it’s not entirely clear how Crème De La Mer works…” – as if this somehow adds mystery and allure to their dubious product. How gullible do they think we are as consumers?

I feel like the beauty industry is looking down at us, giggling behind their hands. It’s all one big joke.

My sister bought me La Prairie’s latest, Cellular Platinum Cream Rare for my birthday (currently the most expensive skin cream on the market at USD$1,000 per 1.5oz) but the sheer guilt I felt applying that much money to my face every morning, far outweighed any kind of cosmetic benefits it could have provided. Far from the usual flurry of excitement that the release of a new cosmetic development should bring, skincare’s new direction has left me feeling jaded. Beauty is no longer simply ‘unattainable’ – it’s out of our price range.

Check back each Thursday for more on the fashion world from Billy Bride